This Halloween, We’re Handing Out Travel‑Size Amenities Instead of Candy

A Playful Proposal for Student Wellness, Halloween Programming, and Campus Life

An Open Letter to Universities: We Have a Halloween Idea

Every October, universities spend considerable energy thinking about student engagement: spooky concerts, pumpkin decorating, costume contests, candy giveaways.

And while we support all of these noble traditions, we would like to propose something radical: this Halloween, what if we handed out travel‑size amenities instead of candy?

We're only half joking.

If you've spent any time around a residence hall lately, you know that a travel‑size deodorant may actually be more valuable than a fun‑size Snickers.

If your goal is to support students during Halloween events and campus programming, practical essentials may be more appreciated than traditional candy giveaways.

The Official Halloween Handout Rankings

College students are constantly running out of things.

A first‑year biology student rarely wakes up and thinks to themselves:

"Gee, I wish someone would give me more candy."

But they frequently wake up and think:

"Crap, I'm out of toothpaste."

If the goal is giving students something they'll actually appreciate, we believe it's time to have an honest conversation about Halloween handouts. Specifically, which items would college students genuinely be excited to receive while walking across campus on a chilly October afternoon?

After extensive consideration (and absolutely no formal research whatsoever), we present the inaugural Weiners Halloween Handout Rankings:

🥇 Travel‑Size Deodorant

A controversial choice for the top spot? Perhaps.

But consider the facts: travel‑size deodorant is useful, portable, easy to throw into a backpack, and remarkably valuable the moment you realize you're out.

Can a miniature chocolate bar say the same?

We think not.

🥈 Laundry Pods

No item better captures the realities of student life.

To outside observers, a laundry pod may seem like an odd Halloween giveaway, but to a student staring at an overflowing laundry basket and an empty detergent bottle, it looks like generosity incarnate.

🥉 Snack Bars

Still edible. Still fun. Significantly more practical than candy.

A hungry student can eat a snack bar on the way to class and make it through the day. Nobody has ever successfully turned a fun‑size candy bar into lunch.

Honorable Mention: Travel‑Size Toothpaste

Rarely celebrated, always needed.

Especially on the morning after Halloween when you wake up on someone else's couch.

The unsung hero of college life.

Honorable Mention: Lip Balm

October's dark horse candidate: nobody thinks they need it until they need it.

Winter is coming.

What Students Need From Campus Life; A Modest Proposal for Student Wellness

In all seriousness: college life is busy.

Students are managing classes, clubs, jobs, friends, and new responsibilities. And while candy never fails to bring a smile to a 20‑year‑old's face, small practical items actually help said 20‑year‑old make it through the week.

Colleges and universities are already investing heavily in helping students succeed. Orientation programs, welcome kits, residence hall events, wellness initiatives, finals‑week programming, and care packages all exist for the same reason: to help students feel supported.

But students don't only need information. They don't only need programming. Student wellness often depends on access to practical essentials, too. Sometimes support looks less like a major initiative and more like having the basics available when they're needed.

• The travel‑size deodorant they forgot to buy.

• The lip balm they lost three weeks ago.

• The toothpaste that's somehow empty again.

• The laundry pods that were supposed to last the semester.

A thoughtfully curated basket of Halloween amenity handouts may not be the flashiest giveaway on campus, but it has something even better going for it: students will actually use it.

The same principle applies to student care packages, residence hall welcome gifts, and student wellness programming throughout the year. Practical essentials tend to make a bigger impact than novelty giveaways because they solve real, everyday problems.

Don't get us wrong, we're not suggesting that universities replace every Halloween candy bowl with laundry pods. But if students are given the choice between a miniature chocolate bar and a travel‑size deodorant the day before a presentation, we have a suspicion about which one wins. And we're here to supply all of you fun‑sized essentials, one lip balm at a time.